I have noticed something related to Hanna's behavior. It took a couple of times for me to see the pattern, but it is definitely happening. After she talks on the phone with a friend from the orphanage, one she hasn't seen during the last 8 months, her attitude regresses back to when she was first home and she fought submitting to me. Within minutes of hanging up the phone, she doesn't get along with her siblings and she gives me that squinty $#%&* look if I ask her to do anything. (I don't know how to describe that look that we all know without using words as ugly as the look. You know the one.)
I felt like I was pushing a boulder up a hill during class today. I am pleased that I knew what was happening and didn't loose my cool, but I was silently praying the whole time that God would keep me from blowing it.
I can't decide if it's that talking to people from "before" just dredges up memories that make her sad, or if it is the content of the conversations themselves that are riling her up. I have begun requiring her to sit near me while on the phone, but she is speaking in Amharic, so it's not like I know what she is saying. The conversation yesterday afternoon was only 10 minutes long, but it has effected the last 30 hours. It happens with a couple of the girls she talks to, but mostly with the girls I know are themselves struggling with their adjustment. I hate to consider it, but I may have to cut off phone contact for every one's peace. I want to help her keep connections for her benefit as well as her friends', but not at the expense of her own contentedness as well as our family's peace.
Does anyone else recognize this behavior? Any insight?
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
Just do it already!
I just got back from the Together for Adoption conference and as you might suspect, I am ON FIRE!!! I know that I have backed off about doing what God wants you to to for the last few posts, but it is on so buckle up.
I met so many fantastic people doing fantastic things. Most of them up and quit lucrative jobs or sold everything and completely switched gears. I got to talk to someone on the phone who just became a christian 2 years ago. He had been a 5th Avenue music producer. He says he's gone from 4 stars to no stars and he couldn't be happier. He is eager to see what life holds for him now that he has Jesus.
We all need a giant shot of that enthusiasm!
I met a great woman named Eileen. She is an adoptive homeschooling mom who has children ranging from either side of 20 to 2. She also has a "son" she was unable to officially adopt who lives in Ethiopia. He just graduated from school and has to leave Kolfe boys home. She is distressed that she has not been able to bring him home to live with her, but God clearly has other plans. She has been able to find a family who will open their home to him and help him launch into his new life. I have shamelessly copied a portion of her blog in which she described the difference her presence in his life has made for him. I hope it encourages you to do something, anything. Start making a difference.
Jerry posted about Solomon winning the Valedictorian award at his graduation. An important fact that was left out was that Solomon was failing all of his classes until almost two years ago. He shared with us that he was very depressed and hopeless. He had no ambition to study...or anything. He was having one of his very worst days the day I first stepped foot at the Kolfe orphanage when he heard the boys talking about a lady that was outside visiting. He got up off of his bed to go see what was happening and that day changed his life forever! He shared that until he got HIS FAMILY...HE HAD NO HOPE...NO REASON TO PURSUE ANYTHING. HE WAS SHOCKED THAT HE WON THIS AWARD... HE received two honors..top student of the Marketing Division which was his major and then the highest GPA for the entire school of more than 400 students. He was almost kicked out of this school a few months ago because they reneged on his scholarship due to lack of funds. We sent him some money just in time to pay his tuition. Then he began to study really hard and apply himself. He also missed the last exam due to food poisoning that put him in the hospital. All the other students took that exam except him. So, with all of this said...HE STILL WON THE VALEDICTORIAN AWARD FOR HIGHEST GPA OF THE SCHOOL!! Even the director of Kolfe and the other boys who know Solomon for almost 10 years were absolutely shocked that he won!! They all asked how he did it?? He responded: "I just started to study really hard because I wanted MOM to be proud of me!!!"
According to Solomon, if not for having a family, a mom and dad that were rooting for him and supporting him, his life would have taken a major turn for the worst. Through this experience the LORD is revealing to me and you just how important it is to be there for these orphans even if we can't adopt them physically in our homes. IF we had not stepped out in faith and become a part of SOLOMON's life, what would his story be today??? According to him, HE WOULD HAVE NEVER FINISHED SCHOOL NEVER MIND WITH HONORS!!! I pray this inspires you to SEEK GOD'S WILL FOR YOUR ROLE IN CARING FOR THE ORPHANS IN OUR WORLD. I have a list of boys from Kolfe that have personally asked me to get them a family that will love them and be a part of their lives like Solomon has. I will be posting more...but please pray now to see how the LORD wants you to respond. I have been given another new mission... to be a MOM TO ALL THE BOYS AT KOLFE and to find them all a family!! I have much work to do...I will never be the same again!!! Please stay tuned...the best is yet to come!!There are many of them who can be adopted and I will be happy to talk with you about it. Just email me: emestas@nc.rr.com!! TO GOD BE ALL GLORY HONOR AND PRAISE!!
I could not possibly say it better than that so I won't try. Please people. Search your hearts. Don't tell me that you are not called to adopt. I am fine with that. Just follow that statement up with what you are called to do...
AND JUST DO IT ALREADY!!!
I met so many fantastic people doing fantastic things. Most of them up and quit lucrative jobs or sold everything and completely switched gears. I got to talk to someone on the phone who just became a christian 2 years ago. He had been a 5th Avenue music producer. He says he's gone from 4 stars to no stars and he couldn't be happier. He is eager to see what life holds for him now that he has Jesus.
We all need a giant shot of that enthusiasm!
I met a great woman named Eileen. She is an adoptive homeschooling mom who has children ranging from either side of 20 to 2. She also has a "son" she was unable to officially adopt who lives in Ethiopia. He just graduated from school and has to leave Kolfe boys home. She is distressed that she has not been able to bring him home to live with her, but God clearly has other plans. She has been able to find a family who will open their home to him and help him launch into his new life. I have shamelessly copied a portion of her blog in which she described the difference her presence in his life has made for him. I hope it encourages you to do something, anything. Start making a difference.
Jerry posted about Solomon winning the Valedictorian award at his graduation. An important fact that was left out was that Solomon was failing all of his classes until almost two years ago. He shared with us that he was very depressed and hopeless. He had no ambition to study...or anything. He was having one of his very worst days the day I first stepped foot at the Kolfe orphanage when he heard the boys talking about a lady that was outside visiting. He got up off of his bed to go see what was happening and that day changed his life forever! He shared that until he got HIS FAMILY...HE HAD NO HOPE...NO REASON TO PURSUE ANYTHING. HE WAS SHOCKED THAT HE WON THIS AWARD... HE received two honors..top student of the Marketing Division which was his major and then the highest GPA for the entire school of more than 400 students. He was almost kicked out of this school a few months ago because they reneged on his scholarship due to lack of funds. We sent him some money just in time to pay his tuition. Then he began to study really hard and apply himself. He also missed the last exam due to food poisoning that put him in the hospital. All the other students took that exam except him. So, with all of this said...HE STILL WON THE VALEDICTORIAN AWARD FOR HIGHEST GPA OF THE SCHOOL!! Even the director of Kolfe and the other boys who know Solomon for almost 10 years were absolutely shocked that he won!! They all asked how he did it?? He responded: "I just started to study really hard because I wanted MOM to be proud of me!!!"
According to Solomon, if not for having a family, a mom and dad that were rooting for him and supporting him, his life would have taken a major turn for the worst. Through this experience the LORD is revealing to me and you just how important it is to be there for these orphans even if we can't adopt them physically in our homes. IF we had not stepped out in faith and become a part of SOLOMON's life, what would his story be today??? According to him, HE WOULD HAVE NEVER FINISHED SCHOOL NEVER MIND WITH HONORS!!! I pray this inspires you to SEEK GOD'S WILL FOR YOUR ROLE IN CARING FOR THE ORPHANS IN OUR WORLD. I have a list of boys from Kolfe that have personally asked me to get them a family that will love them and be a part of their lives like Solomon has. I will be posting more...but please pray now to see how the LORD wants you to respond. I have been given another new mission... to be a MOM TO ALL THE BOYS AT KOLFE and to find them all a family!! I have much work to do...I will never be the same again!!! Please stay tuned...the best is yet to come!!There are many of them who can be adopted and I will be happy to talk with you about it. Just email me: emestas@nc.rr.com!! TO GOD BE ALL GLORY HONOR AND PRAISE!!
I could not possibly say it better than that so I won't try. Please people. Search your hearts. Don't tell me that you are not called to adopt. I am fine with that. Just follow that statement up with what you are called to do...
AND JUST DO IT ALREADY!!!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
On the docket
Just going over a mental list of things to teach, or forward, do or ignore:
Avoid committing haricari while teaching the new kids how to write a proper sentence. Poking one's eyes out, pulling out one's hair, and screaming incessantly are also ill advised.
Put finishing touches on the adoption Q & A session Scott and I are holding for church. If you are interested and in the area, it is being held Thursday Oct. 8, 7-9 pm at Harvest Bible Chapel ministry center. 9850 W 190th St Mokena, IL.
Pack for and attend the Together for Adoption conference in Tennessee. Project Hopeful will be hosting a booth.
I need to have some Project Hopeful shirts embroidered. Before Thursday night. Right.
We need to camp 7 more nights before October 31.
Status of dossier: only documents needed are physicals, state background check and Home study. I am responsible for the first 2. The other one is on my social worker's list. When home study is done, we will await the I171h. Fingerprinting for that will be on Oct. 17th in Michigan City, IN. There is a site in Naperville, but we have to go to another state. Go figure.
Those are the immediate things. Hey, aren't the holidays just around the corner?
Yikes!
Avoid committing haricari while teaching the new kids how to write a proper sentence. Poking one's eyes out, pulling out one's hair, and screaming incessantly are also ill advised.
Put finishing touches on the adoption Q & A session Scott and I are holding for church. If you are interested and in the area, it is being held Thursday Oct. 8, 7-9 pm at Harvest Bible Chapel ministry center. 9850 W 190th St Mokena, IL.
Pack for and attend the Together for Adoption conference in Tennessee. Project Hopeful will be hosting a booth.
I need to have some Project Hopeful shirts embroidered. Before Thursday night. Right.
We need to camp 7 more nights before October 31.
Status of dossier: only documents needed are physicals, state background check and Home study. I am responsible for the first 2. The other one is on my social worker's list. When home study is done, we will await the I171h. Fingerprinting for that will be on Oct. 17th in Michigan City, IN. There is a site in Naperville, but we have to go to another state. Go figure.
Those are the immediate things. Hey, aren't the holidays just around the corner?
Yikes!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Imagine making a difference
This is a letter a friend of mine was given. She is in Ethiopia right now working hard to bring her 5 year old daughter home. It is from a little girl who's only wish is for a family. It could have been written by any one of my children, not to mention any of the MILLIONS of other orphans who are waiting right now.
Dear Amanda,
Hello! How are you? I am fine. How is everything. I am _________. I am 10 years old. I am in grade 6th. I don't have any broher and sister. I live in Kidane Mehret Children home 5 years ago. but I don't have any chance for go to America. so please try to find family for me. I want go to America. Please find family for me. I don't have family for me. I want to be family and Amanda please please try to find family ok. I like your I still waiting your answer.
Bye, bye,
__________________
Dear friends, you really could be that family. I can't tell you how many times I have been told "OH, I could never do that." Guess what? Yes you could. You can. Really. It is not easy or comfortable or inexpensive. In fact, it costs a lot. And I'm not talking money. It costs you your life. What better way to spend it?
1John 3:16We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.
Dear Amanda,
Hello! How are you? I am fine. How is everything. I am _________. I am 10 years old. I am in grade 6th. I don't have any broher and sister. I live in Kidane Mehret Children home 5 years ago. but I don't have any chance for go to America. so please try to find family for me. I want go to America. Please find family for me. I don't have family for me. I want to be family and Amanda please please try to find family ok. I like your I still waiting your answer.
Bye, bye,
__________________
Dear friends, you really could be that family. I can't tell you how many times I have been told "OH, I could never do that." Guess what? Yes you could. You can. Really. It is not easy or comfortable or inexpensive. In fact, it costs a lot. And I'm not talking money. It costs you your life. What better way to spend it?
1John 3:16We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Precious delights
We are three weeks into school and things are going well. It is my 2nd year teaching at home, and there are a number of things that thrill and inspire me.
1. I love the Classical Conversations group. It is great to have support and direction with the added bonus of good friends who are also involved.
2. We can take a day off to take advantage of special events. We went to Great America for homeschool day on Thursday. The park crowd was at a minimum. We got to stay on rides for multiple turns whenever there was nobody in line. Also, one of the ride attendants told us that this was his best work day ever- not just because there was no crowd, but more so because everyone was so polite and kind. (I imagine it was because of all of the un-socialized homeschoolers)
3. Hanna has a better grasp on the English language and is more empowered to retain and participate.
4. It is evident that Biruk was receiving a quality education in Ethiopia and that he has an excellent memory.
5. Both Svetlana and Andy are excelling outside of a large classroom setting. I feel our decision to remove them from traditional school is validated.
6. Mel is a delight to teach. His eagerness and zeal for learning is almost difficult to keep up with. Additionally, after two years home, he is now emotionally available to ask for and receive affection. If my lap is available, he demands to sit in it. Not that he verbally asks, he is just adamant about climbing on. I get to teach him to read with him sitting on my lap. It thrills my heart to finally hold him so much.
I hope that whatever difficult decision you've struggled with in the past is rewarding to you today. I encourage you to step outside of what is known and comfortable and take a chance. Teach Sunday School, take a volunteer position, home-school, adopt a child, start a blog, try a new recipe, just do something.
You'll be glad you did.
1. I love the Classical Conversations group. It is great to have support and direction with the added bonus of good friends who are also involved.
2. We can take a day off to take advantage of special events. We went to Great America for homeschool day on Thursday. The park crowd was at a minimum. We got to stay on rides for multiple turns whenever there was nobody in line. Also, one of the ride attendants told us that this was his best work day ever- not just because there was no crowd, but more so because everyone was so polite and kind. (I imagine it was because of all of the un-socialized homeschoolers)
3. Hanna has a better grasp on the English language and is more empowered to retain and participate.
4. It is evident that Biruk was receiving a quality education in Ethiopia and that he has an excellent memory.
5. Both Svetlana and Andy are excelling outside of a large classroom setting. I feel our decision to remove them from traditional school is validated.
6. Mel is a delight to teach. His eagerness and zeal for learning is almost difficult to keep up with. Additionally, after two years home, he is now emotionally available to ask for and receive affection. If my lap is available, he demands to sit in it. Not that he verbally asks, he is just adamant about climbing on. I get to teach him to read with him sitting on my lap. It thrills my heart to finally hold him so much.
I hope that whatever difficult decision you've struggled with in the past is rewarding to you today. I encourage you to step outside of what is known and comfortable and take a chance. Teach Sunday School, take a volunteer position, home-school, adopt a child, start a blog, try a new recipe, just do something.
You'll be glad you did.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Am I the only one?
In a departure from anything adoption related or spiritual, I am going to share the conversation I was party to on the way home from school today. I am sharing because I can't be the only one, and also, I must admit I was amused. I hope you will still hold me in some regard after you read this.
Brace yourselves.
The conversation began when Biruk told Hanna that it is rude for girls to fart. (you can guess what started this)
I said it was rude for anyone to fart.
Biruk wanted to know why everyone farts if it is so rude. (It has been pointed out that everyone does it sometimes. Yes, this is not our first conversation on the topic.)
We then discussed what is rude and what is not. In the bathroom is always fine, in some one's face is unacceptable, the accidental is unfortunately unavoidable, and therefore excusable.
This rapidly segued into why do they stink so bad and what color are they? Which lead to a spirited conversation about different colors and what a riot that would be.
Yes, I allowed the conversation and even participated when necessary. Believe it or not, they exhibited some good linear thinking and scientific observation. (Mostly I allowed it because I was laughing so hard. My girlfriend's husband says she and I are really 12 year old boys. I fear he may be right.)
Anyway, this is what rides home are like for me.
Please tell me I am not alone.
Brace yourselves.
The conversation began when Biruk told Hanna that it is rude for girls to fart. (you can guess what started this)
I said it was rude for anyone to fart.
Biruk wanted to know why everyone farts if it is so rude. (It has been pointed out that everyone does it sometimes. Yes, this is not our first conversation on the topic.)
We then discussed what is rude and what is not. In the bathroom is always fine, in some one's face is unacceptable, the accidental is unfortunately unavoidable, and therefore excusable.
This rapidly segued into why do they stink so bad and what color are they? Which lead to a spirited conversation about different colors and what a riot that would be.
Yes, I allowed the conversation and even participated when necessary. Believe it or not, they exhibited some good linear thinking and scientific observation. (Mostly I allowed it because I was laughing so hard. My girlfriend's husband says she and I are really 12 year old boys. I fear he may be right.)
Anyway, this is what rides home are like for me.
Please tell me I am not alone.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
1st day of School
It is finally the first day of school. I know, the kids are home schooled and therefore don't leave
me, but the start of school has been a needed thing. Summer has dragged on, and the kids have exhausted their need for free time.
Yes, those are uniforms that we are wearing. This year is a little different than last year. We have joined a school community called Classical Conversations. www.classicalconversations.com One day a week, we meet from 9am until 3pm. My four older children are in a class together, and Mel is in a younger class. There are tutors who introduce new material each week, and it is my responsibility to ensure that the children learn and understand. There is usually an assignment for them to turn in the next week. It is a nice balance for us. There is some extra guidance and accountability for me as well as the kids.
We all feel the first day was a success.
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