Still somewhat in the dark

Hi all. Biruk's surgery went well today. From the looks of things, not official yet, but it appears it is not cancer or infection. Waiting for test verification but looking good. Which leaves us with the obvious question: What is it??? Loosely, it is bone fibrosis, and we are still in the dark about what to do about it. The Doctor will call me Friday or Monday, after the cultures have time to cook, and then he will discuss with me his thoughts.
Overall I am happy with today, but still rather frustrated.
I'll share more as info trickles in.

Tomorrow

Wednesday morning bright and early, Biruk and I will be at Children's Memorial for his biopsy. I will post as soon as I can. He is chipper and kind of excited to see what will happen with this mysterious procedure: "surgery". He didn't know what surgery was. It took some time, but we finally figured out he knew "operation."

Did I make it?

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was so close. Scott had to call for backup and get a ride to church. I really almost made it. I have driven downtown many many many times, but not to Northwestern and I chose to follow the directions rather than my instincts. Rand McNally listed the wrong exit and I ended up on 55 south in stand still traffic for 25 minutes until I could turn around. The good news is I got the xrays where they needed to be and the assistant ran down to meet me and I didn't have to park!
Naturally the day didn't end there. While I was making my way down Michigan ave (do you know how many people are walking downtown on Friday at 3:30? It's madness!) the bank called. They forgot to have me sign one of the forms. Could you get back here before 6:00? Sure- as we know, I am not bound by the confines of time or space. I picked up Scott and the boys at the church at 4:30 and got to hug the girls before they left. Made Sveta sad that we couldn't wait until the bus left- had to go to the bank, and drove away as she stood at the end of the sidewalk with a forlorn look on her face and her arms stretched out toward me. More on that in a minute.
Picked up drive-thru for the boys on the way to the bank, signed the paper, stopped home to get baseball gear, and went on to practice. Before I left for practice, Scott had the audacity to tell me that "he was beat". Really? You're tired? How can I make it better? Yeah, he's beat.
Picked up 2 movies at Redbox on the way home, put the boys to bed and finally I started to relax. 10 minutes into The Changeling, the phone rings. It's Sveta. She just got there and she is homesick and hurt by the other girls who are making an imaginary line in the room and dictating who can cross it. She just really misses us.
Who's phone are you on?
My councilor's.
Let me talk to her.
She is standing next to Sveta while she is talking to me and lets me know that she thought everyone was having a good time, this was the first she had heard of the "boundaries".
Why don't you look into that.
At this point, Sveta is back on the phone and I hand it to Scott. I have nothing left. I knew from the look on her face when I drove away that Sveta would be manufacturing some drama tonight. She is suffering right now as she navigates her adoption story and creates different ways to get fulfillment from us. It is difficult for me, because nothing is going to fill this void for her. She has to embrace her story before she can move on. I know it will take a while and there isn't much I can do to help. I believe she is a strong girl deep down, but this pre-adolescent to adolescent stage takes it's toll on even the strongest who don't have the additional weight of adoption baggage. We all know women who have never recovered from it and are trapped there. I pray constantly that Sveta will make it through and I fret over her choices.
Take the imaginary line situation from above:
Here's the problem- nice girls like Sveta and her friends don't know how to handle people who are mean. They respond most of the time by being pleasers. They think if "I do what they want, they will be my friend and everything will be ok." But it's not. The mean girls are still mean, and she is restricted to half of the room. She doesn't understand that if the girls wanted to be her friend, she would already be on the other side of the line. (of course I wouldn't want her on that side...) I have talked to Sveta since kindergarten about the fact that nobody has power over you unless you give it to them. She struggles with it because she can't understand the meany's motivation.
How do you teach your child to have backbone? Because she has bought the bill of goods that says that girls are supposed to be "nice", she hasn't yet figured out how to be nice without being a doormat.
This is how strong I want Sveta to be. When this situation happens, I want her to be able to say, "You know, that's not nice. I won't be playing this game. If you girls wish to limit yourselves to that half of the room, feel free, but I will be going where I like." And walk on.
Here's the problem. Because she is seeking to fill that void inside, she is choosing to be victimized for validation from us. I worry that she will get stuck here. Someone I love very much is trapped at the age of 12 because she couldn't/wouldn't accept her story and move on. I am sure Sveta will get through this, but what if she doesn't? I am a fixer and I can't fix this.
Needless to say, I didn't sleep last night.
I tend to lean on my own understanding here and forget to rely on my Heavenly Father for His strength. Please pray for me and pray for Sveta and Biruk and Andy and Mel and Hanna... most of all, pray for Scott, because after all, he's beat.

(OK, that last part was snarky. I just thought is was funny. Please pray for him too. He is distressed as well, it just doesn't wrap the post up with a smile when he's not the butt of things.)

The low down

Ok. We went to the doctor today. The good news is that the blood work doesn't show an infection. The bad news is that the blood work doesn't show an infection. His problem is not presenting typically for infection or cancer or tumor. It is a mystery. Therefore, just like I thought, he wants a biopsy. He can schedule it for the 30th, but first, he would like to see another xray to see if there is any bone change since last month. Great. No problem. Well, small problem. He is on the north side of Chicago, and all xrays need to be taken in Tinley Park. If that had been included in the last Doctor notes, we could have had them done and brought them along. Instead, we have to come back to Tinley Park. Pronger Smith wants the doctor notes before they will okay the xrays. I found a way around waiting for approval of doctor's notes. I made an appointment with Dr. Marcus who will call for the xrays. We go Friday morning at 10:40. Then I have to drive them to Northwestern (Dr. Yasko's other office) so he can read them and schedule the biopsy. Before I can take them downtown, we are closing on a refinance at 1:00. Then I will run downtown. I need to be back in time to take the girls to the church where they go to GEMS at 4:15. They are going to a camp in Wisconsin for the weekend. I have to do all of this because Scott can't drive. On top of that, we have a 9am breakfast birthday party and if I don't get all the info to the doctor in time, it will be 2 weeks before we can have the biopsy done because the doctor is going out of town again.

To recap, this is the schedule for Friday:
9:00 birthday party
10:40 Pronger Smith for xrays- but not Tinley Park, I have to go to Blue Island (one of those places that is difficult to get to, in a vortex so to speak)
1:00 close on re-fi at the bank
2:00ish take family home and go to Northwestern in Chicago
4:15 Girls to Church for camp drop off
6:00 Baseball practice until 8
I had a doctor's appointment at 5:45, but I canceled it
After all of that, they may not approve the biopsy in time for the 30th.

Deep breath, it will all get done and what will be will be.
That's all for now.

Calamity

Guess who thought he could play soccer with the Ethiopians, like the Ethiopians (no shoes).
Guess who was wrong.
DING DING DING
That's right. Scott. He is the winner of not broken bones, but major soft tissue damage!
The word surgery was bandied about, but after 3 rounds of x-rays, a cast was settled on.

It was a tough game, nearly all of the kids (22) and 2 adults were in a fierce battle to dominate the field. After a number of near misses and shouts of "Please put your shoes on!" Scott was down. His toes folded under his foot as he ran across the yard. He hobbled off the field as the children cheered their victory.
Scott chose a "wait and see" attitude even as his foot continued to swell. He elevated his foot that night, suffered through church the next morning and finally admitted defeat as I drove him to urgent care. A follow up visit with the orthopaedic and the splint confirmed a diagnosis of O-L-D syndrome. You guessed it, folks. Scott is old.


(If you're wondering where this picture was taken, it's in my basement. Don't get me started.)

Happy

I was walking past the bathroom and stopped in the doorway. Biruk was in there with the door half closed. He was washing his hands and singing,
"Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love tomorrow. Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love tomorrow."

I waited for him to see me. He smiled.

"What's tomorrow?"

Big smile, "I get my cast off!"

The hair photos.

Ok, so I'm not wearing any makeup and it is getting late, but I will share the bad hair with you. (I used the crystal eye web cam. Really fun!)

Tiny rant:

How hard is it to stack the back?! I think she thought I said hack the back.

Look at the last photo, everyone knows the front is supposed to be the longest. It was before she started cutting. It isn't even even.

Let me just also say, Dude do I have a big nose!

Now, make me feel better please. About the hair, not the nose. That's not her fault.