Monday, October 18, 2010

How do you do it?

We read about loss every day. Children, parents, cousins, neighbors, friends, gone to cancer, old age, illness, accident. Somehow, in spite of it all, the bills keep coming, groceries keep needing to be replaced, paychecks must be earned, noses wiped, meals cooked, children tucked in, homework checked, laundry done. Life just keeps on going.

I always wondered how one lives with the anguish of loosing a child.

Then I miscarried.

Twice.

I heard stories of people loving and working for months, years, on adoption paperwork , meeting and spending time with the child, loving them, and then being denied the ability to bring their child home.

I wondered, just how do you live through a failed adoption?

Then I gave Anastasia a kiss, told her to have a great lunch, I would see her in a couple of hours.

I never saw her again.

Just how do you live with that?

Psalm 28:13
I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.


Daily His grace is sufficient for me. I know that only He knows what is best, wants what is best, provides what is best.
To His glory, it is best for us to suffer these losses. If I did not believe this, I would surely despair. Frankly, I don't know how anyone lives outside of Christ without despair.

Psalm 28:13
I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Friend, I have seen the goodness of the Lord. My prayer is that you do too.

5 comments:

Julia said...

Okay - you just made me cry. I am not you but I still grieve in my heart for your loss and a little girl left behind. I pray for her often and wonder what plan God has for her life. I doubt a day will go by that you will not cover that girl in prayers and I join with you in that. She may have been left behind but she has not been forgotten by you nor by us.

Job 13: 15a "Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him."

Psalm 27:13-14 "I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."

"Violet" said...

Traci,

My heart breaks for your family, your friends, and Anastasia.

I can't imagine how much that memory hurts.

Trust that God has a plan, and keep doing what you already are- accomplishing good things in Anastasia's honor...

And reach out to friends who will listen.

Blessings and My Best

Melissa

afamilyandhopeforcandace.blogspot.com
andtwomore.blogspot.com

Cindy said...

uAmen, My friend. God is Good!!Praise God that He has helped you see that in the midst of life's pain. I too would have despaired if I had not believed in His Goodness.
As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you. Isaiah 66:13. May the Lord comfort you and Anastasia.

Stephanie @ Ralphcrew said...

You got me, Traci. I guess I needed a good cry tonight.

I'm sure that God has good reasons for not allowing us to see the bigger picture. I'm just glad he's not finished with me, or you, or her yet. (((hugs)))

Andrea said...

Well said...and thank you for the reminder!