Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Frustration

I am feeling a great amount of frustration when talking to people in general and The Church more specifically about adoption.  There is a great divorce between what adoption is and what orphan care means.  Now, orphan care is huge, I am just talking about the "adoption" facet of orphan care here. 

When someone says "adoption", the only need anyone thinks is being met is the parent's desire for a family, and that means infant.  Someone wants a baby.  Needs a baby.  Is adopting a baby.  That family couldn't "have their own" (I cringe as I write that- I have 5 of "my own" children and one more waiting for me.  God intrusted me with them and I have the paperwork to prove it!) and so they are adopting one. 

Where is the ORPHAN here? 

The ORPHAN is missing!!!!!

Adoption has been so sanitized that the baby being adopted didn't exist until the parents' need did.  This is why the need is so great.  This is why no one feels obligated to help.  This is why it is not the responsibility of The Church.  If you choose to encrease your family, that is really on you.  Why should anyone feel moved that you have a void that you feel needs to be filled by babies?  Family size is personal and is not anyone else's responsibility that you need more kids.

DO YOU SEE WHAT HAS HAPPENED????!!!!

ORPHANS  DON'T EXIST OR HAVE NEEDS. 

ONLY BARREN MOTHERS HAVE NEEDS AND THAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, SORRY.

You know what?  I didn't need any more kids.  At one point, for a very long time, I didn't want any more kids.  Mel, Biruk, Hanna and Bianca are not filling any deep seated desire in me for more children. 

GASP!!!!!  WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, TRACI!!!!  HOW DARE YOU? HOW DARE YOU ADOPT CHILDREN WHEN YOU AREN'T MEETING YOUR DEEPEST NEED TO PARENT A BABY!!!

The only need of mine that I met was my need to OBEY my Father.  He said I was to meet the needs of orphans. He even took me to Ethiopia and showed me the need.  I didn't need any more kids, but I did need to obey.  The need we met in adopting was the need of ORPHANS. 

MY ADOPTIONS WERE DONE TO MEET THE NEEDS OF ORPHANS. 

ORPHANS!

ORPHANS! 

I'LL SAY IT ONE MORE TIME.  ORPHANS!

THERE ARE 147 MILLION ORPHANS IN THIS WORLD.  THEY EXIST AND WE ARE IGNORING THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ORPHANS THAT GOD HAS COMMISSIONED US, HIS CHURCH, TO TAKE CARE OF. 

James 1:26-27 (New International Reader's Version)
 Suppose you think your beliefs are right because of how you live. But you don't control what you say. Then you are fooling yourselves. Your beliefs are not worth anything at all.
 Here are the kinds of beliefs that God our Father accepts as pure and without fault. When widows and children who have no parents are in trouble, take care of them. And keep yourselves from being polluted by the world.

You know what I don't read here?  It doesn't say " When a couple experiences infertility and have exhausted all options for having a child naturally, God will provide an infant for them to adopt to fill their void and meet their need.  That is how God shows us he loves us."

This is what I believe.  I believe we live in a fallen world.  A world that is no longer perfect.  I do not believe that "everything happens for a reason", that all bad things happen so God can do something good.   I believe bad things happen because we live in a sinful world.  Period.  However, bad things happen and God does DO something good through them, but it's conditional. 
What happens is Romans 8:28:
And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.


Guess what?  If you don't love God and aren't called according to his purpose,  you just have a sack full of fallen world bad things happen because the rain falls on the just and the unjust circumstance, the same as everyone else.  But if you do love him, He can work that infertillity together for the good of you who love him.  Through my infertillity, God worked Svetlana and Andy together for our good. They were ORPHANS WITH A NEED, and I was a childless parent.  Through this, He worked their circumstance and mine to our good.  He gave us a heart for the ORPHAN, and allowed us to see His direction, and he caused Biruk, Hanna, and Mel's ORPHAN STATUS to work together for good to them and to us, and we are a family because  our obedience meets their needs. 

Bottom line:

ADOPTION IS NOT ABOUT ME. 

IT IS ABOUT ORPHANS!!!!!!!!

10 comments:

Bridget said...

To fill the needs of an ORPHAN is to OBEY the word of GOD!!! We are willing and God allows us to be able! Out streched arms and open hearts will go a long way...Let GOD get the glory through ALL we do! Thanks for sharing yur heart once again! <3

Amanda Cox said...

Amen!

Kevin and Sue Krippel said...

Well put Traci. What better way to obey our Father than to adopt. It is all over Scripture. Not only does He directly tell us to care for orphans but He tells us to go and make disciples. What better way than to adopt!!

Matthew and Amanda said...

Traci,
I feel convicted by what you wrote. Thank you for challenging me.

Amanda

Traci Weldie said...

Amen and amen!

Cindy said...

Traci,
I am amazed at the work God has done in you. You have experienced loss due to infertility yourself, yet you have willingly received His help. The Lord has definitely given you beauty instead of ashes. Isaiah 61:1-3
Keep speaking the truth! I'm blessed by it!!!

Laci said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Laci said...

This is exactly what God has been teaching me through our adoption. Sad to say the first time around, although I did have a heart to help orphans it was still mostly about me and what I wanted. This time, He has taught me over and over again that my life is not my own, that His priority is not my comfort level, His priority, His passion, is giving families to His precious children who don't have one.

Josh and Kristi said...

Thank you! God has been changing my heart since we brought our son home. Its been a difficult transition, but good because it has taught me that his adoption should never have been about me, but our son who WAS an orphan. Our hearts are open to adoption again because we saw the need, and who can ignore it? I don't want to ignore God's children.

Cerett Family said...

I just found your blog and am reading through all of your posts. This one is exactly how I feel about it. We are very new to the adoption process (just mailed our preliminary application yesterday!) and as we were filling out the questions it just felt wrong. Like we were filling out a grocery list! This is a command of God to take care of orphans. Like you said you are just obeying God! LOVE THIS! So glad I found your blog!!!